Rethinking Imposter Syndrome
Over the last six years of establishing myself as a coach, mentor and thought leader in the personal leadership world, I have come to land as close to home as it gets.
Where, I am here to support high achieving midlife women and men rethink the ways of being that have and are ineffectively driving their careers, relationships and lives, to awaken to their inner leadership to redefine who they need to be and how they perform to birth rich inner fulfillment that meets their outer success.
If you want to know more - read on.
If your go-to SOP (standard operating procedure) is to shore up your performance fears and perceptions with perfectionism, procrastination, or the pretzel twist of people-pleasing (I call these the P3s), you may be trapped in imposter syndrome thinking and habits.
With a lifetime of mastering the 3Ps, your brain has convinced you to brilliantly validate your success through outwardly glorifying these coping mechanisms. Wearing them like a badge of victory!
Yet, deep down you know the honest truths:
“I slew that project,” but the team was left lying in the field as you took everyone down to ensure your perfect outcome.
“I slammed that baby - pulled it off in the 11th hour,” but the physical and emotional toll of procrastinating is heavy, and truthfully, the robustness of the final product was diminished. Rich 360 analysis doesn’t come to fruition from all-nighter feats.
“Sure, I'll double up my workload or change my focus - sure I can do that - no problem” in efforts to prove your value, until the employee review comes back with the comments “fabulous employee but a bit scattered, unfocused, seems to have trouble tracking to outcomes, etc.” or worse yet, you forsake your values and purpose leaving you burnt-out, overworked, detached and isolated.
We all have periodic episodes of self-doubt, self-criticism or loss of purposeful direction, but when the gap between who you know you are and who you feel you need to be has you spinning in fear, anxiety and doubling down on the P3s to avoid being found out, it is time to bring light to the imposter within and redefine your approach to who you need to be.
Imposter thinking robs us of creativity, flexibility, ease, flow and ultimately, inner fulfillment. And so much more: your health, our relationships, our true legacy.
How do I know this? For much of my life, and still today when under stress, I will fall into one of those P3 habits (ways of being and protecting).
I have mastered them all to ensure I didn’t get found out—all at a cost.
I have operated in significant disconnection from myself, acquiring a litany of accomplishments that I haven’t fully acknowledged or claimed, reducing my inner sense of achievement, value and purpose.
I have left team members lying in the dust, ruining relationships through my micromanagement and judgement for my self-preservation.
But most of all, I have undersold the value of what I have accomplished for fear that someone would say it was luck, a freebie or a mercy gift.
Things like, not attending my graduation with a double major, honour student standing – cause well come-on really - anyone could do that.
Or changing career trajectories mid-rise because I was called out as a thought leader in the area – that was way too much attention for a fraud.
This thinking - mind trap - can be rewired. But it takes some work. It take work to change how you see yourself and who you need to be.
It takes work to learn to stand confidently in your purpose and power and know that these are the vehicle forward.
It takes work to learn to become your own boundary.
It takes work to shift your thinking from doing to being, and to know deep down that this is where fulfillment resides.
It takes work,
And you have it in you
The reward - Life-fulfilling FREEDOM
This journey will be epic, and I am going to own every step of it – as I lead myself and you to awaken to the leader within.